Required thoughts for class

Back at school...

Here we are, the middle of January with freezing cold weather — well, it’s not that bad — and school has officially started today. My classes were pretty good and I am satisfied with my teachers in which that they all seem rather outgoing yet knowledged in the subject that they will be teaching me. Besides the classes, I am glad to see my friends again although I have not seen all of them just yet. My boyfriend is doing just fine and already is continuing with his habit of sleeping in until noon. The roommate isn’t too bad and my room is absolutely beautiful minus the easel (for our mirror) that I must assemble soon. Now, however, I am doing some studying: reading a chapter of my philosophy of science book, organizing papers into separate folders for each class and reviewing my syllabi. Overall, today has not been too bad and it should get even better following the two hefty paychecks I just found and a wonderful card sent by truly wonderful family members. I must say that God really does wonders and my life is getting better every minute whether or not it may seem that way; counting my blessings plays a key role in helping me determine how my life is going — positively of course.

Fair well and I will write again soon…when I want to delay doing something related to school…

The day before New Year's Eve

Here I sit, finished eating my breakfast, at the kitchen table of my mother’s house. I am rather tired and bored of being here day after day, not being at school, in which I feel as if I am wasting my breath. Many thoughts have found themselves in my head, wanting to escape into the ears of those surrounding me. Yet, I cannot say as I wish or as I think would be beneficial to those around me because I will be punished merely as a result of my sayings equalling (is that a word?…don’t care, it works here) something of rudeness, obviousness or simpleness. Ah well, nothing is what I can do about that little problem. On a happier note, I have been reading leisurely quite frequently. Such books like Digital Fortress written by Dan Brown and Hannibal Rising by someone Harris. The former was ten times better than the latter, perhaps it’s because I felt that with every paragraph that I read, something seemed to escape my path of reading. However, when I reread whatever I had just previously read, it was the same words and all — I had missed nothing. Therefore, this book is terrible. There are too many descriptions of people and not of the setting which defeats the purpose of reading a book, well, at least my intentions of reading a book. When I read something, I want to feel as if though that I myself am there in that fictional setting, I want to feel the cold wind of winter wrap itself around me, I want to feel the darkness pull its veil over my head, and I want to feel a character’s ectasy after uncovering the truth. Unfortunately, I felt none of that while reading Hannibal Rising. So much paper was wasted, so much ink, so much time to the writer’s, reader’s, publisher’s, tree chopper’s, etc’s dismay.

Winter Break...

Ah yes, the wonderful days of vacation. Nothing can compare to lounging around on a Friday morning, dancing to the music that the tv projects or eating oatmeal while talking on the phone. It’s quite wonderful.

Tomorrow I am going to my father’s house with my brother for an early christmas party since my aunt is working from the 22-24 of this month. So, I receive my presents rather early. I guess that’s nice, but it’s not the same when one exchanges presents on christmas eve or christmas day. Well, at least I’ll be able to see that side of my family.

Christmas day, I will be at my mom’s house, and we’ll open presents and then go to my step-grandparent’s house in Chicago. That should be fun, yet the house will be crampt since no one is as small as they used to be, particularly my brother and I. We’re grown now.

Next week, perhaps Thursday or around there, I will be able to see Alex; I miss him so much. At least we speak on the fun with each other everyday, usually for about 5-10 minutes. 

I hope that christmas is fun this year. I hope new year’s eve is fun as well. I asked Alex if he’d like to do something together this year, he said yes. But I sensed hesitation in his voice. If we do spend time together on new year’s eve, what will we do exactly? I’d like to just have a few friends over, have some good food, dance a little and goof around and be young — it’s what I do best!

Right now though, I am sitting in my room, my nails are perfectly manicured by moi, my presents lay on my bed waiting to be wrapped, and I need to shower, it’s been a day and I feel not my self. Perhaps I’ll make myself a delicious deli sandwich after I shower. Actually I’ll wait until my stepdad finishes gutting out the pheasants and ducks he hunted this morning.

Ewe.

I’ve truly never felt so good until now.  

I did terribly in my calculus class all because of series and sequences. I feel that now I know that I should not pursue the career that I thought I should delve into: a subcategory of gynecology. Now I believe that since I did not do well in math and physics, that God is trying to tell me that I should do what I wanted to do in the very beginning: a teacher, specifically of chemistry. Since my junior year in high school, I have had an affinity towards helping others, especially tutoring and being in charge.

So, for my sophomore year, I will have a chem, secondary education major. My chem teacher in high school told me that if i ever wanted to observe or anything related, that she would be glad to have me there during her classes in any of the following years. Plus, I will have a tutoring/supervising job for this coming semester — children from grades second to eighth.

I am so dissappointed in this past semester, I pray that I will excel in my courses for this spring. College is difficult and i undedrestimated the hardships of college calculus and physics.

I nearly cried when I saw my math grade for the semester, yet I am glad that I received credit for the course and can thus take the next calculus course next semester.

All I ask of you is to pray for me. I’m praying now, but a little more prayer just helps.

A final...test

Studying is the only verb that I have put into action today. Actually, if that were completely true, that would be utterly disgusting. I have sneezed, coughed, walked, drunk, eaten, pulled, pushed, moved, typed, looked, talked, sat, thought, written, washed, brushed, cleaned, etc etc etc. Now I think of how many verbs I have done today. That sounds awfully funny when you say it aloud. Anyway, I am sick, sick as a dog, sick as in yucky, sick as in climbing a flight of stairs nearly kills me. I do believe that I have a sinus infection or just a terrible case of the cold. There is pressure on my eyes, near and around, on my forehead and near my nose. I have been sneezing a lot. I can barely breathe. I have coughed but a few times. My eyes are almost constantly watery. My skin is extremely dehydrated. I am uncomfortably cold. I am definitely too tired. That was a lot of ‘I’s’.

I have been studying physics, calculus and history for the past God only knows how many days. I haven’t over done the studying, though I have studied a lot. I have a physics and calculus final tomorrow. Friday I have a history final (non-culminitive).

My roommate is dumb as a box of rocks if not dumber. She still talks on the phone in the morning and her excuse today was that her mother had to awake her for her final…

Then she retaliated by saying that she says nothing about getting up at 7am on school days. Why should she? It’s school! I have class, duh! Oh my goodness.

I also told her that she needs to clean up after herself. She and my other friend made blankets (fleece) Friday or Saturday night. There was still fuzzies everywhere on our dorm room floor early this morning (Tuesday). No attempt was made to clean it up.

She said nothing after I told her to clean up her things.

Did I mention that 95% of the time I take out the trash and recycle (she is the only one of us both that drinks out of disposable water bottles). I also am the only one that cleans the room ie dust and wipe down things.

Since I am sick, I need heat and humidity. She decides to open a window, which is when I told her eveything: phone calls, cleaning, my need of heat. Well, that was about 3 hours ago. I havent left the room. She hasn’t left it much either. She hasnt looked or spoken to me since.

Ha, stupid people. Just because we live together, that does not mean that you have to disrespect the other person. When I get up in the morning, I make sure that no lights go on and that I am extremely quiet: no hair dryer usage, no extreme typing, no microwave usage and definitely no phone usage. My phone is not even on ringer. The only thing that she may hear is me going in and out of the room, three times tops since the door makes a minute squeaky sound.

If she wanted to talk about me getting up early, all she had to do was open her big mouth, piece of cake people.

when i am disgruntled, i open my mouth, but think before i say so as not to come off as being mean or anything bad of the sort.

Am I being too…something?

TGIF

Ah, yes, the unoriginal title, but who is not glad that is it finally Friday?

I am doing laundry now, waiting patiently for the washing to finish. While I am waiting, I am here, in my room, trying to figure out this physics problem so that I may figure out another physics problem that we are doing today/my professor asked the class to do for today.

Yesterday I finished my Christmas shopping so that next week I would not have to worry about anything and so that over the holidays I can work. Plus, I don’t have to shop in the large crowds the few days before Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, I love it; I believe that it is a time for “counting your blessings” and being with the ones you love, pretty much just having fun. God gave us love and we should use it.

Before Winter break, I have finals, which I hope will not be too bad considering that I am doing poorly in physics, need to get an A on my caculus final so that I may get at A in the class, and I need to skim about five books for my history final as well as review my notes: a million pages.

Wish me luck on those fun little tests!

Oh yes, my three month with Alex is Sunday. We will be celebrating it at Fogo de Chao, a brazilian steakhouse on LaSalle. Tonight, we will be exchanging christmas presents! I am not too sure why he wishes to exchange so early, but I don’t really mind.

Last week of semester...

So, here I am, again, sitting here, working and doing homework. I have a feeling that I am producing my own sickness: psychosomatic illness. I have migraines, something I’ve never had before and terrible stomach pains. These are most likely the result of stress. Blast you stress, damn you to hell, seriously; bad stress sucks.

Good note: I’ve started my paper: outline and first two pages plus some research. Plus, I did decent on my physics hw, now i have to read…a lot. joy to the world!

Well, I must go, so sorry that there is nothing entertaining this week! Perhaps next week or the week after!

Starman

David Bowie does miracles, but not al miracles. I am sick :(

Working Woes

Here I am, sitting, full of lethargy, waiting and waiting for the clock to hit the 8th hour.

I feel like a fish.

Bed…

Yawn…

Yet the digital clock on my laptop’s screen reads 7:11 PM.

The boyfriend is sick.

Christmas shopping almost done…already.

Thanksgiving this week — oh joy.

Need for food is quintessential right now. My stomach feels warm and is telling me this, i.e. grumbling. Ramen sounds satisfactory.

I feel and look rather thin. I have not been eating much: damn you stress and your ability to decrease my appetite. I will have to admit though, that apple and peanut butter hit the happy spot earlier today.

Tomorrow I will watch my friends leave.

No home till Wednesday night, maybe even Thursday morning.

Sometimes I wonder why Islam and Christianity resemble each other in so many ways. Who is in the wrong? Is that not the ultimate question?

I have always wondered what it is like to live a life without a god. He or she must have nothing to look forward to after death. That is probably the most depressing thought…EVER.

7:20 PM

…

I am rather stressed. Perhaps I am confusing stress with sleepiness. I think it’s the latter. Yeah, it is.

Nothing to complain about in regards to the roommate. Surprising, eh?

My former friend, however, is still avoiding me. Quite silly actually. Oh well, I did what I could and now the job is done.

My boyfriend is sick. Oh woe is me. Actually it isn’t too bad. He’s resting versus hanging out with me and that soley benefits him and his well-being. I can cater to him now, which, oddly enough, does not bother me.

 That creepy guy is still out there…

Ha, creepy people are hilarious. He wrote on his facebook profile that he is insecure. Why in the hell would you write that? Seriously? Are you asking for no friends? Just say that you are shy and grow some balls. Super easy. You’re an adult now, do something about it. Let’s be realistic, shy people don’t get where the social people get, unless they are best friends with a very social person. Anyway, just practice on gaining self-esteem. Place yourself out of your bubble every once in a while and slowly you will become more confident.

7:32 PM

I went to the tutoring center last Thursday for some help in my Math 162 course. As I am waiting for my tutor, I look at the schedule of tutors and tutorees for the day. I take notice of my name and see ‘Math 131 (132)’ typed next to it.

WTF!??1?

I was at the tutoring center for a little more than an hour when aa student is allotted only 45 minutes. Thank you morons for signing me up with the wrong tutor and gaining NOTHING out of the session. Guess who had a test today?  Guess who is going to call and complain?

Now I feel better. Seriously, I do. That is finally off of my chest.

Cool, it’s getting closer to the end of my shift, closer to Ramen noodles, closer to seeing Alex, closer to hanging out with my friend and closer to sleepy time.

Wednesday Woes

The roommate has a job…now she is complaining about it. It’s in a not so good area, which the roommate knew while applying. Now the roommate is complaining about wanting less hours and not to go home so late. Well, boo-frickin’-hoo. At least you have a semi-steady job. You already knew the area that your job was in before you even applied and I am almost positive that your manager asked if working late would be okay.

Look people, just be grateful for what you have, please.

Now me: (conceited? No, this is my blog) Tired, lots of homework, no time, tests, essays, books, extra help with problems (classwork), and people that want to hang out, but I do not have the time. When you see me outside, that is my time to be alone and get some fresh air, to help me realize that yes, there is a world out there, a world outside of my books and schoolwork.

Thanksgiving is next week, thank God for a break. But behold, I have a test, homework and other fun loving things due after break, yay! Taking time to work out and exercise is INCREDIBLY difficult. I seriously have NO time for that. So I make sure that I walk up and down those stairs whenever I have the chance.

I think that I am actually doing well in my classes even though I am complaining about schoolwork. I believe that is the only thing anyone should complain about: the multitudes of homework placed upon students. Plus, to justify the complaining, one must also DO the work that they are encouraged to do so that they may achieve decent grades. Oh, and what did I just hear?

God: “Thou shalt soley complain about schoolwork.”

Me: “Thank You, God. No one likes to hear about silly, ungrateful people complaining about a job they asked for.”

God: “This is true, Heather, but remember: Thou shalt not judge unless you wish to be judged the same. But I do agreee, nonetheless.”

Me: “Of course, I knew that, but it is so difficult not to.”

God: “Just ignore it and know that I am taking care of it.” **winks at me**

Me: “That’s all that you had to say, God. Did You know that You are great? Why? Because You are always there for me.”

God: “Thank you. You know that I love to hear praises.”

Me: “Well, I hate to cut the conversation, but I have to do my studies. I’ll be talking to you late, perhaps throughout the day.”

God: “You don’t need to tell me these things, I can read them in your heart, remember, I am omniscient. Anyway, take care Heather.”

Me: “Later Man.” **smiles**